Social rejection

A woman walking towards a man who has raised his hand towards her and is turning away
This scene of the Admonitions Scroll shows an emperor turning away from his consort, his hand raised in a gesture of rejection and with a look of disdain on his face.

Social rejection happens when a person is not allowed to be part of an interpersonal relationship. A person can be rejected by a group. This can be caused by bullying or discrimination.

The experience of rejection can have bad psychological consequences, It can also cause increased insecurity and sensitivity to future rejection. such as loneliness, low self-esteem, aggression, and depression.

Background

According to Abraham Maslow, humans need love to live. Meanwhile, psychologists believe that social interactions alone are not enough. Instead, the relationships need to be stable and satisfying. They therefore consider rejection a significant threat, and human anxiety a reflection of concerns over being isolated.

Mark Leary, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University, considers social acceptance a key element of one's self-esteem that forms his or her identity. His view is further supported by social psychological research, which confirms the motivational basis of the need of social acceptance ‒ associated with the tendency to conform to norms out of fear of rejection.

In children

According to psychology professor Karen Bierman of Pennsylvania State University, most children who are rejected by their peers have one or more of the following behavioral patterns:

Bierman's research reports that well-liked children tend to have better social skills, while those at risk of rejection are either more likely to insert themselves into play groups disruptively.

The problem is worse for disabled children, who tend to be victims of bullying by those with better social skills. The phenomenon of reputational bias is observed when well-liked children are seen more positively than the less-liked, regardless of their personality.

Mental issues

In addition, rejected children are more likely to have mental health conditions, particularly depression. Some rejected children would be aggressive, leading to a negative cycle worsening over time.

School shootings

A study of 15 school shootings between 1995 and 2001 found that peer rejection was present in all but two of the cases (87%). The shooters were often victims of long-term bullying who ultimately responded with extreme aggression, while social stigma makes the problem continue.

Rejection sensitivity

Some individuals take rejection very personally. This trait is known as rejection sensitivity, or rejection sensitivity dysphoria if serious. Typical signs of rejection sensitivity include but not limited to:

Experts found that those with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) had have higher rejection sensitivity, correlated with differences in the brain's frontal lobe that complicate emotion regulation.

Many rejection-sensitive children with ASD or ADHD struggle to interpret behavior, leading to higher chance of perceiving non-existent betrayal or failure, and being rejected by peers. Such rejection often comes with bullying and poor quality of life.

Impact

Physical health

On top of the impact of rejection on mental health, physical health can be endangered by rejection. Divorced women were found to be more likely to have illnesses than married or non-married women. Social rejection and physiological problems are said to be highly correlated as humans, in terms of evolution, are social animals requiring relationships for survival.

The immune system of a person tends to be harmed by rejection, which can be deadly for those already immunocompromised, including those infected with HIV. The health of socially rejected HIV-positive gay men is found to be more likely to worsen, partly due to faster rates of T helper cell drop. The risk of tuberculosis is also found to increase in those being socially rejected.

References

  1. ↑ McCausland, Shane (2003), First Masterpiece of Chinese Painting: The Admonitions Scroll, British Museum Press, p. 75, ISBN 978-0-7141-2417-9
  2. 1 2 Baumeister, R. F.; Tice, D. M. (1990). "Anxiety and social exclusion". Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology. 9 (2): 165–195. doi:10.1521/jscp.1990.9.2.165.
  3. 1 2 McDougall, P., Hymel, S., Vaillancourt, T., & Mercer, L. (2001). The consequences of childhood rejection. In M. R. Leary (Ed.), Interpersonal rejection. (pp. 213–247). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
  4. ↑ Richman, Laura Smart; Leary, Mark R. (April 2009). "Reactions to Discrimination, Stigmatization, Ostracism, and Other Forms of Interpersonal Rejection". Psychological Review. 116 (2): 365–383. doi:10.1037/a0015250. ISSN 0033-295X. PMC 2763620. PMID 19348546.
  5. ↑ Maslow, A. H. (1954). Motivation and personality. New York, NY: Harper.
  6. 1 2 3 4 Baumeister RF, Leary MR (1995). "The need to belong: desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation". Psychol Bull. 117 (3): 497–529. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.117.3.497. PMID 7777651. S2CID 13559932.
  7. ↑ "Mark R. Leary | Scholars@Duke profile". Duke University. Retrieved April 11, 2025.
  8. ↑ Leary, M. R., Downs, D. L., (1995). Interpersonal functions of the self-esteem motive: The self-esteem system as a sociometer. In M. H. Kernis, Efficacy, agency, and self-esteem. New York, NY: Plenum Press, pp. 123-144.
  9. 1 2 3 Baker, C.R. (1979). Defining and measuring affiliation motivation. European Journal of Social Psychology, 9, 97-99.
  10. ↑ "Karen Bierman - Department of Psychology". Penn State University. Retrieved April 11, 2025.
  11. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 Bierman, K. L. (2003). Peer rejection: Developmental processes and intervention strategies. New York: The Guilford Press.
  12. ↑ Coie, J. D. (1990). Toward a theory of peer rejection. In S. R. Asher & J. D. Coie (Eds). Peer rejection in childhood (pp. 365–401). Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press.
  13. 1 2 3 Leary, M. R.; Kowalski, R. M.; Smith, L. (2003). "Teasing, rejection, and violence: Case studies of the school shootings". Aggressive Behavior. 29 (3): 202–214. doi:10.1002/ab.10061.
  14. 1 2 3 4 5 "Rejection Sensitivity | Psychology Today United Kingdom". Psychology Today. Retrieved April 12, 2025.
  15. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 "10 Signs of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria". Newport Institute. February 14, 2024. Retrieved April 12, 2025.
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  18. ↑ MacDonald, G.; Leary, M. R. (2005). "Why does social exclusion hurt? The relationship between social and physical pain". Psychological Bulletin. 131 (2): 202–23. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.131.2.202. PMID 15740417. S2CID 10540325.
  19. 1 2 3 4 5 Dickerson, S. S.; Gruenewald, T. L.; Kemeny, M. E. (2004). "When the social self is threatened: Shame, physiology, and health". Journal of Personality. 72 (6): 1191–1216. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6494.2004.00295.x. PMID 15509281.
  20. 1 2 3 4 5 Cole, S. W.; Kemeny, M. E.; Taylor, S. E. (1997). "Social identity and physical health: Accelerated HIV progression in rejection-sensitive gay men". Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 72 (2): 320–335. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.72.2.320. PMID 9107003.
  21. ↑ Cassel, J (1976). "The contribution of the social environment to host resistance". American Journal of Epidemiology. 104 (2): 107–123. doi:10.1093/oxfordjournals.aje.a112281. PMID 782233.